Oh my goodness it feels like I haven't blogged in FOREVER! I think out of the five years since I started my blog, this is the longest I've ever gone without posting. It's been a crazy few weeks that have both flown by and also dragged on and on. After we came home from the hospital we realized Jackson was having difficulty breathing on his own and keeping his oxygen levels up. I'll tell you more about it in a different post but I just wanted to say how much I am grateful for all of you and the prayers you sent our way.
Our little Jackson was born on Sunday September 4th at 6:40pm weighing 7.1 pounds 18 1/2 inches long. I had a c-section (I had to have one with Isla so the chances of having a v-bac were very slim). I wasn't progressing in my labor so I ended up having to have another c-section (which surprisingly was so much easier the second time around).
By the time they started prepping me for the c-section it was 5:00pm and I hadn't eaten anything all day long. I was so hungry I remember thinking to myself I don't have enough energy to have this baby. I felt shaky, weak and exhausted. For some reason I was so much more nervous this time around than I was with my first c-section. I don't know if it's because I knew what to expect? I was just so terrified this time.
Once the nurses and doctors wheeled me to the OR I remember finally being relieved of my hunger and exhaustion. Maybe it was the adrenaline, the nerves or the epidural, but finally I forgot about how hungry and weak I had felt moments ago. As I was laying there while the doctors were working on getting Jackson out I was thinking to myself, I wonder if I'll be able to love this baby as much as I love my Isla Rose. It just didn't seem possible to be able to love another person as much as I love her. A few minutes later I heard the doctor say he has dark hair like his mama. I was so shocked, I couldn't believe he had dark hair! I instantly felt this strong connection with him and he was still inside of me. Once they pulled him out and I heard his little cry, the tears started flowing. That's all it took. Hearing his little cry, I didn't even have to see him. Just from his cries I instantly fell madly in love with my little human Drew and I created together and I couldn't believe he was here.
The nurse gave me a quick peek at him before they took him with Drew to weigh him and work on him a little more. He was the cutest little thing I had ever seen. I got to do skin to skin in the OR with Jackson, something I didn't get to do when I had Isla and I was so grateful for that time. I just laid there smelling his head (he smelled sooo good). And I loved that the second they gave him to me he stopped crying. He knew I was his mama. He has completely stolen my heart and I can't believe how much I love him. It's like my heart instantly grew.
Isla wasn't quite sure what to make of her new little brother. She's still so little so she didn't quite understand what was going on. She gave him one of her famous Isla kisses and then she wanted to get down and run wild. The rest of the night I nursed him, did skin to skin and kept smelling his little head.
To my little Jackson, mama loves you.
p.s. For all you ladies who are pregnant or are going to have a baby sometime in the future, hire a photographer to capture your birth story - and one who specializes in birth photography. I didn't even realize over half of these images were taken and they are something I will treasure my entire life. It was worth every penny (no this isn't sponsored) and I highly recommend it! My photographer shoots a lot of birth stories so she just hung out in the back and silently took pictures, I didn't even realize she was there. If you're thinking about doing it, do it!! (and wear lash extension and lipgloss ;).
Photos by Heather Telford.